Episode 1: Depression to Breakthrough

Key lessons:

1. Recovery isn't optional - it's essential
   When I'm "cooking on gas" creatively, I think I can keep going forever. Had to learn (again) that dialling back to 75% now beats crashing to 0% later. After easing off, I got a massive creative breakthrough on Thursday.
   

2. Sales gets easier when you genuinely believe 
   Found that when you genuinely believe you can help someone, being bullish in sales becomes easier. Even cold calling isn't scary when you know you've got something genuinely valuable to offer.
   

3. Perfectionism is just procrastination in a fancy suit 
   I've been using the need to get everything "just right" as an excuse to not fully commit. Realised I've been keeping an escape hatch open mentally - "it could all go wrong" thinking that just leaks energy.
   

4. Focus on one clear metric
   For me right now, it's one client per month for our Chief Commercial Officer program. Everything else - the cool ideas, the podcasts, the creative marketing stuff - needs to wait. Keep the focus simple and clear.
   

5. Be a beam of light, not a firework display
   Not about throwing explosions in all directions, but about being grounded, focused and consistently illuminating. Focus that energy where it matters most.

It’s the Last Week Before the Last Week Before Christmas
_{This week I can't say I've been feeling very warrior-like in my artist warrior philosophy - been feeling kind of wimp.}

Been feeling the burn this penultimate week before Christmas.

Hit a proper depression on Monday. The kind that manifests like a cold - very low mood, feeling completely out of my depth. Had to just keep plugging away at it.

The thing is, I've been cooking on gas these last few weeks - very creatively busy, lots of output.

Been consolidating thinking, strategic work, figuring out what I'm doing with my life.

EASING OFF THE GAS
But when you're cooking on gas, you think you'll keep cooking on gas. Then the gas runs out.

So I dialled back. Gave away my Manchester gig tickets. Skipped the burpees my coach prescribed. When I'm on, I'm getting up at 4 or 5am, working intensively, doing a workout, then working a full day. I allowed myself to sleep in till…7:30!

Yeah, I really did need it.

THE CREATIVE DOWNLOAD
Then Thursday afternoon happened.

The meeting schedule cleared, I got back to my desk and suddenly had this absolutely clarifying jolt of creativity. Like a flow, a download of very clear two-word taglines to sum up things that have taken me all year to get my head around.

My creative juices boiling things down to very clear succinct ideas eg:

LEARNING TO SWARM
Had some real wins too. Been learning from my New York investment bank buddies about commercial thinking, sharpening up my sales skills. Been doing this thing we call "swarming" - bulk approaching people you don't know, cold outreach.

Had two breakthroughs: one for CounterpartOS, helping people go to the US or do partnership deals, and another with a company we approached for one of our clients.

AUTHENTIC SALES 
The funny thing is, when you have a real reason to want to speak with someone, being bullish and upfront becomes kind of easy. Because you genuinely want to work with them, you genuinely believe you can help them. I can't do anything commercially that I don't genuinely want to do or believe is right.

THE ARTIST AND THE WARRIOR
I'm definitely more comfortable in artist mode than warrior mode (warrior being commercial). Want to develop both because they help each other. But what I really need to do in Q1 next year is make sales and focus until it's happened. Not get distracted by cool ideas or copywriting lines or podcast concepts.

CLOSING THE ESCAPE HATCH
Truth is - and nobody really knows this - there's been a part of my brain that wasn't 100% committed to the CounterpartOS thing. Keeping an escape hatch open, thinking "it could go wrong any minute."

It's become clear this week that if I close that bit of my brain off, I'll stop leeching that energy and can really focus on making this work.

Because it's actually really cool and has loads of potential.

BEAM OF LIGHT, NOT FIREWORKS
Going into next year, channeling my energy is the thing.

Need to be a beam of light, not a firework display.

Not throwing lots of explosions in the air, but being grounded, rooted, powerful and illuminating.

That's good energy - and not so expensive to put on as a firework display!

THE PATH AHEAD
I've had a year where I've thrown the cat amongst the pigeons, and to stretch my metaphor, the pigeons haven't quite settled down yet. The last three weeks have been about organizing my thoughts, ideas, plans, and they're pretty settled now.

First though, I need to recuperate. Need to recuperate in advance.

• You don't have to be hyper vigilant all the time, Dan.

• It's been a long year, a lot of change, a lot of risk.

• And I've navigated it well.

• Been smart and street wise.

• I've survived. And that's a win.

Yeah.

Stay in the groove.